Blyth Spartans 3-1 Shrewsbury Town

SITTING third bottom of the Blue Square Northern Conference North Premier (or whatever it’s called), Blyth Spartans have somehow saved their best this year for the FA Cup. Shrewsbury Town never recovered from going a goal down within 30 seconds and, to quote Clive Dunn, they don’t like it up ’em.

Shaun Reay made a name for himself but centre half Richard Pell nutted every kitchen sink and booted the taps into touch. Blyth capitalised on their possession and spent the rest of the game launching Shrewsbury’s beachwards – hugely infuriating to the visitors, as Blyth have only got two match balls.

The game was apparently being broadcast live in the US, so Croft Park’s announcer didn’t waste an opportunity to plug the rock night during a break in play: “Next up at the social club, from 8pm on the November 28th, just £2 on the door: Shovelmouth.”

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