Hello, is it me you’re looking for?

FOR REASONS unknown, a gentleman by the name of Mike Boorman recently commissioned North East-based artist Aidan Brown to work on a life-size bust of Ken Bates, of whom Mr Boorman is, like me, a “life-long admirer”. The likeness, sculpted in clay and cast in reconstituted copper, is presently at Elland Road, where its ultimate destiny is unclear.

hello01hello02Should it form the centrepiece of a delightful water feature in the foyer of Ken’s fabled L-shaped block?

Perhaps it’ll serve as a paperweight, providing peace of mind should a drafty window interfere with Ken’s ever-precarious piles of carefully-organised papers?

Or maybe it’s just going to prop Suzannah’s kitchen door open until the day clumsy Ken stubs his toe on it in that bombastic style of his.

What is for certain is that it’s eerily reminiscent of that Lionel Richie bust from the “Hello” video. So with this in mind: hello, is it Ken we’re looking for? At the time of writing, the overwhelming majority of visitors to the excellent thescratchingshed.com don’t think so. They can’t see it in his eyes, can’t see it in his smile, he’s not all they’ve ever wanted and their arms aren’t open wide…

4 Responses to “Hello, is it me you’re looking for?”

  1. Haha, I reckon he’ll be replacing Billy Bremner’s head. He’s that self-obsessed I wouldn’t put it past him.

    Cheers for the link mate.

  2. Another quality piece Beaten Generation.

    “”Every time Leeds concede a goal I feel like I’ve been stabbed in the heart” – King Billy.”

  3. Thanks, gents. We can be sure that wherever this turd-coloured curiosity ends up, it’ll be so well polished its subject will be able to see his face in it.

  4. That is the most disturbing thing I have ever seen.

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